The story might go like this: you’ve been attending therapy sessions, hopeful that each session would bring a sense of new understanding, relief, or even a breakthrough. But, after several appointments, you can’t help but feel the connection and sense of progress you hoped for simply hasn’t materialized.

It might come in various ways: not being able to freely talk or express yourself during sessions, or feeling hesitant opening yourself up. It’s an experience that many people go through. You are right to be concerned, therapy/counseling is a deeply personal journey, and the connection between you and your therapist is vital. Undergoing a therapy journey with someone without mutual trust and strong connection can jeopardize the therapeutic journey. Here are some things you can do about the situation:

Acknowledge the emotions that you feel during sessions are real. While connections with your therapist is important, it’s just as important to acknowledge the lack of connection, which is a valuable signal that something may need to change. Take some time to reflect on when these feelings began and why you feel the way you do. Try to identify the source of your discomfort, whether it is something they have said, done, or on the contrary, something they should’ve done.

Just like any other relationships, open and honest communication is key. Your therapist is not only trained to diagnose, treat, or understand mental health, but they are also professionally trained to listen. they are there to support you, and they genuinely want to assist in your mental health journey (if you feel that they don’t care at all, it might be wise to see another professional). To that end, initiating an open and honest conversation with your therapist is the first step. Share your feelings, and don’t hold back. Let them know that you’ve been struggling to connect with them and explain why. Your therapist will be more than happy to hear an honest feedback about how you feel about the sessions and their approach.

When you open up about your feelings, be as honest and specific as possible. Describe in detail what aspects of the therapy process or their approach that you feel are not resonating with you. Maybe it’s a particular technique they use, the pace of the sessions, or even their communication style. The more specific, the better they can understand and adjust to you. Unlike medical treatments, mental health therapy is largely unique from case to case. A large part of that uniqueness comes from the fact that the individuals themselves differ from one another. By opening up about your honest feelings and thoughts, it will greatly help therapists understand how they can cater and adjust their approach to best suit for you.

Know that it’s okay to find someone else. It’s important to remember that finding the right fit is part of what makes effective therapy. Sometimes despite the best efforts, the connection with a particular therapist may not happen as desired. In such cases, there is no need to be discouraged. It’s entirely acceptable to explore other therapists who might address your needs and preferences better. In fact, your therapist might be willing to refer you to another professional that they believe can more suitable for you.

Remember, the therapeutic relationship is just one aspect of the journey to better mental health. It’s about finding the right path for you, and sometimes that means making adjustments. Keep your heads up and remember that your well-being is worth it, and there’s a therapist out there who can provide the support and connection you need.