Life transitions can be some of the mentally exhausting experiences every one of us goes through whether we like it or not. It happens from an early age when we start school for the first time, when we graduate high school, when we live alone for the first time, or when we have kids. Each of these life transitions bring with them a certain level of stress because when life transitions happen, usually a big part of our lives also change, whether it be the physical place we live in, the people we interact with, or even the adjustments we need to make to our lifestyle.
Most of the time, a lot of these changes happen regardless of whether we want to or not. When we move away for college or work, we must also start to live independently even if we dislike it. In a similar way, you’re currently undergoing a major life transition that brings with it a lot of undesirable changes in your lifestyle as you mentioned.
However, not everyone experiences life transitions the same way. While the same transition can be stressful for someone, it can be a pleasant experience for someone else. College graduations can be celebrated by someone who dislikes studying and simultaneously dreaded by those who dislikes living a routine working lifestyle. Additionally, life transitions are often unique experiences that vary from person to person. Someone who goes to college in their own hometown with their high school friends might feel little to no differences after graduation while someone who studies abroad.
In your specific case, your transition into working adulthood involves moving back home with your family and away from your social circle. For some people who have a different family dynamic than yours or those who never had good social experiences at college, this could even be a pleasant life transition for them. This is why we must be careful when comparing life transitions between people.
Understanding life transitions impact our mental health allows us to take a step back and see that you’re not alone in what you’re going through even though you may feel isolated and lonely. The reason life transitions can become extremely distressing to us is because big life changes happen suddenly, and most of us often get caught by surprise. We then are faced to deal and accept with the reality that we didn’t expect and don’t know how to get out of or accept them. While this is a completely natural part of life, it doesn’t mean we can’t do anything about it.
While we can’t force ourselves to like the changes that are happening in their lives, we can take actions to make them not only manageable or less stressful, but also use it for the sake of our future life fulfillments. When we shift our focus from the present and into the future, we can focus less on the misfortune or unpleasant experiences of today and see how they can be a steppingstone towards our future goals. Similar to how we can endure bitter pills and even painful treatments because we know it’s a medical process that we must go through to be healthy. When we see life transitions as something we must go through to a brighter future, we can endure hardships and improve mental resilience.
However, merely focusing on the future is not enough, we must also take actions so we can move closer towards our future goals. Whether it comes in the form of making new friends as an adult, finding your own place to live, deciding on a future career path, or even finding an amicable compromise with parents to make your current living conditions more bearable. The possibilities are endless, and you have all the time you need to find a goal you can choose and chase after.
One of the common pitfalls that we see people get into is focusing excessively on past life they can never get back. When we focus too much on ‘the good old days’ instead of living our lives, we risk becoming more resentful and cynical about our present lives. We can’t turn back time, and when we become obsessed with the past or something that’s out of control, mental distress follows. When that stress is sustained over a long period of time, it can lead to depression and a sense of hopelessness.
We encourage you to evaluate where your stress is coming from. Are you focused on things that are out of your control such as the past? Do you have a future goal that you can aim for and work towards? These self-reflection questions can be the keys to understanding your depression.
We’ve also sent some resources and self-help tools that you may find useful in planning your future goals, stress management, and managing life transitions.